Thursday, April 30, 2009


I love it when events dovetail naturally and confirm each other. Life is a series of experiences that build upon one another, for good or ill, and we must remember that growing is awkward but necessary. And when I think something is ordained, it's most likely effecting some other change in my life that I can't forsee.

So, I'm wondering how much words can make plans come true. There are many wishes, hopes, and dreams tucked away amongst my words here, and a few goals that have been realized in the real part of my life that you, the reader, can't see. But I can, and that's exciting.

Yahweh has been working fear out of my life, despondency that is ridiculous yet real, and hopelessness which is harder than faith or love for me. I suppose that faith is for what you can't see, love for yourself that gives to others, and hope depends upon belief that He is pushing the buttons and moving, being for me. My belief in Him isn't faith most of the time, it's just knowing. He's there and I can't deny it, wouldn't want to at all. And the love for others, it's difficult but I do it. Hope is a harder task, hope for the future, the world, myself. Contentment is still a struggle, but maybe that's meant to be.

Monday, April 13, 2009

survey. got this from marisa's blog...

Ten Years Ago, I...
1. was 9 years old
2. got very very close to mawar
3. was very good in math
4. loved art class
5. had beautiful long healthy-looking black hair with curls

Five Years Ago, I...
1. was fourteen
2. slept at the coucelling room with my pet sis because we didn't feel like sleeping in the dorm
3. had short spiky hair
4. smoked weed for the fist time
5. wore my brown doc mart maryjane religiously

One Year Ago, I...
1. was eighteen
2. got into uitm
3. thought activities in uitm was a waste of time
4. had a time of my life at that fat boy slim rave thingy
5. grew up

Yesterday, I...
1. went shopping
2. got to know that justified is not bad at all
3. drove my dad's car
4. had only one ciggarette
5. had rice for breakfast

Today, I...
1. can't sleep and it's 0155 hours
2. have psychology and pub. production classes
3. received a message from him after 24 hours of silence
4. felt fucked up coz i can't reply (no credit!) and am too ego stricken to pick up the phone and give him a call
5. will be sleepy in class

Tomorrow, I...
1. will have replacement class with prof. umbridge
2. have to bring a press kit to class (where the hell am i gonna find a damn press kit?)
3. will have to go to the library
4. will be home after 1700 hours
5. will study

Five Snacks I Enjoy...
1. ben and jerry's around the whirled
2. mrs. field's milk white chocolate cookies
3. pears
4. brownies a la mode
5. HIM! (he he he)

Five Bad Habits I Have...
1. biting my nails
2. procrastination
3. doing things that'll hurt ppl for my own satisfaction
4. forget things
5. smoking